Dear Wait Staff of Fort Wayne,

My friends and I really appreciate you and your [hard] work. We always tip, even if your service wasn't exactly deserving of it. We're not bad customers. We're not picky (except for Paul), we usually order what you have on the menu without special instructions. We only send our food back if you bring out something completely different from what we've ordered.

That said, we would like to make some suggestions for those of you who are not exactly as good as the waitress we had at Outback a few weekends ago:

1. We would like to be provided with silverware before you bring us our food. Sure, we understand that everyone makes mistakes and forgets once in a while. When you bring out our appetizers or orders, please take a moment to wonder why we haven't unopened our napkins and begun eating. If you forget, that's fine, but could you make an effort to remember next time you come around rather than exclaiming, "Oh, I'm sorry, I've forgotten your [insert item here]."
   
2. Please notice that we're dying of thirst sometime before we finish our meal. There's no need to ask whether we'd like a refill when it's evident that we're merely halfway through our meal and our glasses are completely empty. Furthermore, the waitress at Outback (Sarah was her name, by the way) brought our drinks to us before we could even get thirsty again, and she didn't even ask. She just knew that we would probably be thirsty. She is an angel.
3. We don't know if we have enough room for dessert at the beginning of our meal, so we like to wait until the middle or end to figure that out. Please, just ask us if we'd like to order some before throwing our checks on the table. The past few times we've gone out, we've wanted dessert, but the waitress has never taken that into consideration.
   
4. Lastly, we really appreciate when you ask how we'd like our checks/bills separated. Please don't become so overwhelmed with a table of eight that you can't make separate bills. I reckon it takes up 2-3 pages of your order book, and if you give us each a number, it isn't so bad. We've seen this in action before, it works. Don't make us try to remember what we ordered. It's not that hard, but it's not our job. You're the one who wrote it down.

Okay, so I'm sure that some people will get mad at me, but just remember, I really appreciate the angelic Sarah at Outback and I don't hate all wait staff (of course not). It's just that lately, the service has been really bad everywhere.